Headstone for Loved Ones

21 Dec

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Why are there always bleak weather conditions when you visit a cemetery? Visiting the dead brings its own territory and climate it seems…Never on a warm, sunny day does the visitor attend…possibly too busy visiting the living.

Today, I visited my parents at the cemetery. I often see them when I am feeling low or when I just need to feel that they are with me, offering their eternal support and reassurances. I’d like to think that they are still guiding me through life’s journeys and detours. I feel lost without them and wish they are still here. It’s hard to fathom how or what I feel sometimes. This was one of those days.

Both my parents are buried in a plot without a headstone. I was informed by members of my family the reason for this was: “we are waiting for the land to settle before a headstone is to be erected”. It’s been several years now and I’m still waiting. At the time, I said I didn’t want to see my parents go without as, in the future, I might forget where they were buried or I might stand at the wrong graveside.

Funnily enough, that day was today. As we traipsed through the squelchy , muddy grounds, I became slightly disorientated and placed a wreath at what I thought was my mothers’ grave. How wrong I was! It was only when I happened to glance across the neighbouring plot that I realised I had made a terrible error of judgement!  I was appalled and disgusted at myself. How could I not know!???

I felt guilty, ashamed and embarrassed.

My parents haven’t been  away from me that long, but I appear to have forgotten them already. I have lost them once, I don’t want to lose them again. So, for the sake of a headstone, a symbol, landmark or reminder, I’d like to see my parents burial place have a significant sign of dignity and respect. Without which, it will just become a mere plot of unidentified bodies and  over grown or neglected land.

The Learned Kat

 

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