Tag Archives: Relationships

I am not a Beauty

5 Jan

I am not a Beauty
I am a Beast
There is a sadness in the air
Like Zombies walking, there is no care
No respect for the living
Forgotten are the dying
Dignity is the word of the past
The last one hundred years changed so fast
The World decaying, Love will not last.

I am not a Beauty
I am a Beast

You’ll never find my face

5 Jan

You’ll never find my face on the cover of a magazine,
Rupert Murdoch and magnates are not keen
On portraying people of colour
With high self esteem
Rather show faces
Looking scarred and mean
“Look at the face of the second class race”
Never the achievements of black/brown face.

You’ll never find my face on the mainstream channel
Presenting the news or the Oscars panel
Winning an award
Like it’s a soiled white flannel
Marking the territory like a scared dog in its kennel
My scent might contaminate the all-white Chanel

You’ll never find my face representing LGBT
The gay community doesn’t redefine me
People of Colour or B.A.M.E
Dodging the bullets
Headlines fuel it
Prejudiced wars ready to buy it
Spreading lies and lies like bullshit

You’ll never find my face on a large billboard
Filling the screen like a media whore
Communities treated like an oozing sore
Stamped all over, spit at your door
A few black faces in mainly white spaces
Small minded opinions horrified
“Lessen the monoculture!” we cried
Let’s celebrate media diversified.

We Are All Human

Respect for Elders

19 Jul

 

At the same occasion of the House blessing, something else was highlighted to me – that being, no matter how old we are, we still seem to bow down to the commands, requests and directives of our elders.

This feeling was compounded by my Sikh friend, aged 44 and a teacher at a Secondary/High school. He invited me into his home, I accepted. We were or are 2 people with common interests, independence and our own family units.

So, he called me in. He offered me a seat, which I accepted as I had already explained the physical symptoms of my back pain. But just when I was about to open the folding chair which was proffered, his older brother made an accusatory remark and commented that I should sit on the floor as a mark of respect to the Guru Granth Sahib (the Sikh Holy Scripture) and to the others who were present, sitting cross legged on the floor. I was embarrassed and without further ado, I complied to the bidding of the elder. I sat on the floor, albeit in an uneasy and uncomfortable fashion.

 

Afterwards, my friend asked : “When my brother asked you to sit down, did you feel like a child?”

“Yes”, I replied.

“I’m sorry,” he said “I felt so embarrassed for you. My brother does that to people.”

 

We agreed that it wasn’t so much his brothers approach , but the attitude or response we provided in return. Even though I’m 44, it’s only now, in the last 3 years that I’ve attempted to speak my mind, be outspoken and assertive towards my own siblings. I keep telling them that I;m not 12 or 126 anymore. I have my own life, issues and challenges to face without being treated further like a child.

My friend and I conceded that the relationships and boundaries we have with our own Elders is a challenge in itself and a cultural attitude which needs to be addressed and the cycle broken.

 

Waiting

30 Jan

clock 1

I waited but you didn’t come
I waited but you weren’t there
I waited for the knock at the door
anticipated text, a jaunty phone call.

I waited for what seemed like endless hours,
minutes ticking, seconds weren’t hours.
I waited, made excuses, reasons, cut my losses,
day dreamed and fantasised.

I waited.

clock 2

I waited to see your face
glad to feel a warm embrace
hear your history and stories made

I waited.

clock 3

I waited for the cold to subside,
doors open, freezing inside.

I waited for you to call my name
rooms look tidy like a picture framed,
perfume wafting like a hurricane.

I waited for you to arrive.
I waited for you to come

clock 4

I waited
waited and waited.
WAITED until I was wasted.

 

The Learned Kat

clock 5

Why am I so angry?

28 Sep

LOB8

 

Why am I so angry?

Is it because I am gay

and you say I would die a like a dog at death’s door?

Or is it because I finally have my say

and you hope there is no way for me to be paid?

Or is it because you disown me

and leave me feeling lonely and mad?

Or is it the sad losses

and two crosses gathering moss is lost in the quagmire of hope?

Or is it the job losses

and the  bosses who post a print out of lies?

Or is it the silence

and the concrete sighs ends my days of stress?

Or is it the times

and the fast paced lives which drive me until I’m dead?

Or is it my life

and the linear ways of thinking my dreams away?

 

The Learned Kat

 

 

 

 

The silence

13 Sep

20130625_095443

The silence of your frown

drowns me in tears

the silence of your eyes

catches me in lies

the silence of your body

stills me to the bone

the silence of your bed

chills me in the home

the silence of your soul

swamps me with fear

Words

7 Sep

LOB19

 

Try not to hear certain words that have been spoken
Bitter words eating away at hearts
Friendless words beating away the laughs
Cruel words tormenting the mind
Cool words be lying all the time

Empty words bring empty promises
Adult words in childish worlds
Childish words insulting worlds
Certain words that have been spoken
should not be heard…

 

LOB3

 

The Learned Kat