Have a Garden, NOT a Carpark!

I don’t know if it’s a sign of me growing old or what but I do enjoy gardening. I like to see a beautiful garden and I appreciate the fact that someone spends their time digging, planting seeds, growing plants, watering, feeding, placing fertiliser on the ground. spraying, watching and waiting to see if the plant or seed they have placed in the ground will grow. I enjoy pottering around in my garden as I find it relaxing, calming and therapeutic. I like to see the insects crawling around, hear the bees buzzing and the birds twittering. I like to see the abundance of colour and the buds on the trees or perennials. I enjoy seeing the flowers blossom…

However, I look around and become disheartened by what I see or don’t see anymore. I despair when I look at what is becoming of my city…

When I was a child in Birmingham, most of us had back gardens. It was almost a communal area. Women would hang out there washing and gossip over the fence, catching up on what they had seen or heard, men would use it to grow vegetables, have a cigarette, potter around or soak up the sun, or socialise with other men or friends. We’d have mini picnics or dine al=fresco. Children would use them as play areas. Sometimes we would pretend to be working in a cafe and use the the large dock leaves as plates, the long grass as chips and the stones or pebbles as various vegetables. Rose leaves would be placed in a glass of weater and crushed to make perfume for the girls; nettles would sting and there always was a dockleaf nearby to rub over the sting; the old saying was if you picked a dandelion, you wet the bed, but once the yellow colour disappeared and it became a seedhead, you could make a wish, blow it away and watch the “fairy” float away…

Today, I see more and more gardens being ripped out, slabbed over and made into either car parks, ports or if the garden is large enough, another plot of land for an extension or another property. Whilst all this is good and well for the increasing amounts of vehicles on the street, the housing issue and the fact that it all becomes very “low maintenance”, I do wonder how the so-called green environment that we are so desperately trying to save, is enduring mother nature being ripped up and cemented over. We are so absorbed in “low maintenance” with comments like “I need the space for my car” or “it’s safer for the kids…I don’t want them getting dirty/stung/falling over/eating grubs or shrubs etc…” or “I can’t be bothered with gardening and wasting money…” We seem to forget that we are also losing vital life supports and educational elements.
We hardly have any birds left like sparrows, blue tits, goldfinches, blackcaps and so on.
We hardly see many squiirels in the garden unless you are in a park.
Plants like crocuses, dandelions, poppie, pansies and bluebells are no longer seen growing haphazardly around like they used to unless they are deliberately planted or in a conservation/preservation area.
Most of the wildlife, even those categorised as “vermin” such as pigeons, foxes and squirrels, flora and fauna in the city is becoming or will become an endangered species. Birmingham is or was colloquially known as “The Concrete Jungle” but that was down to the much despised and derided Spaghetti Junction built in the 1960’s.

As a city today, in the 21st Century, we are becoming more and more in danger of becoming a proper concrete jungle as gardens quickly disappear and we lose all that nature has to offer. I’d rather see lush greenery and colour than blue/black/green bins. We’re supposed to be saving the environment, recycling and going green. How can we be doing that when the gardens are becoming black and grey with slabs, stones and grease/oil stains? A number of gardens seem to become dumping grounds for rubbish, neglected or a “waste of space”. Where is the pride, the idea to toil the land, the “competitive streak” to make the garden the best in the area, the area to relax in, the area to play with children and teach them about the insects, the biology of nature, the rough and tumble of play, the extra area to socialise in and soak up the sun rays, the relaxation? In a few years, if someone asked me that I’d probably say I’m sorry, it’s all gone…

No wonder Alan Titchmarsh wanted to start ‘Save the Front Garden’ campaign or there are initiatives to start birdwatching or competitions to be the best front garden or Council led initiatives such as Britain/Birmingham in Bloom. The Mental Health sector is encouraging gardening as a form of therapy to deal with or combat the various levels of daily stress and other issues…

I believe every garden is a piece of Heaven. To toil a small piece of land, to breathe in the fresh air, to appreciate all that nature allows is one of the greatest forms of therapy: one can create and actually see the end results.
However, at this rate, as modern humans become more selfish and lazy in their endeavours, we won’t have heaven or paradise on Earth. We’ll just be left with a large grey slab covered in dark stains, oil dripping from cars, no sound of birds or other vocal creatures, no colour on the land and lots of bins bursting with wasted food, empty bottles/glasses. paper strewn everywhere and no sign of wildlife.

Now, that would be a hell on earth…

 

The Learned Kat

Baby Brows!

Yesterday, I happened to walk through Debenhams store and saw a young girl, aged between 8 and 10, sitting in a reclining chair with her head tilted back and her mother standing next to her, looking on with affection, pride and silent pleasure. Nothing unusual in that, you might say. But what struck me is that there was a young woman leaning over the young girl, with a long piece of thread in her mouth and held between her fingers. The little girl was having her brows threaded!!

I might be old fashioned, but as much as I love children, I feel that when children ask for certain types of beauty treatments at such a young age, it saddens me and makes me think what do the parents gain from allowing their children to endure such “pampering”?

It’s like the other day, I read an article about a young mother who enters her 18 month old baby girl into beauty pageants. The mother denied being a “pushy parent” and said her child “wants to do it, loves all the attention and enjoys every minute of it.” How did the child know at the age of 6 months, that she wanted to enter a beauty pageant? How does she know that she is entered into a competition for prizes? I should imagine for the young girl it’s a bit of fun, playtime and naturally with children who tend to have a very inquisitve nature, she would like the attention, sparkle and flashing lights of the cameras or stage. She has received numerous awards and her mother intends to keep the little girl “grounded”. It’s not the girls’ fault. It’s not really her mothers fault. What parent wouldn’t want their child being described or voted as a beautiful baby? But at the same time, it’s like saying that a child who enters beauty competitions is special and gifted and those children who don’t are ugly. Why have beauty pageants for little children?

I blame the event organisers, or those who create such schemes. To me, it’s just another money making hare brained business project that feeds of vulnerable or starry eyed parents who are living their failed dreams through the lives of their off spring. They must think “What I don’t have or couldn’t have, I’ll make sure my son/daughter has it!” And there are some (unscrupulous?) people out there who can quite happily feed off those thoughts and bag themselves a new type of consumer. A very lucrative business, which over the years, appears to be getting worse and worse. There is a campaign in the UK called “Stop the Sexualisation of Children”. It’s aim is to stop such pageants and products for sale that make a child look older than what they are, sexually provocative music or billboard advertising. I support elements of this campaign, which came about after the findings of a report by the Mother’s Union. It saddens me to think we have to have a campaign to stop manipulating the consumer and we don’t seem to allow children to be children anymore.

But I think it goes deeper than that. It’s a whole generation of young people who are not encouraged to play outside, have a make-believe world, have stories read out to them or use their creativity or imagination. Children appear to be postively encouraged by the “We never had it as a child” parent mentality and are losing out on the value of what is really true and meaningful in life, the wonderment and awe, the magical and mystical, the escapism, the comfort and joy, the whole interaction of being loved and cared for, the inquistive nature to search and find out, the little giggles and tears, the growing pains and so forth. An example of childhood lost is when I see the majority of parents around me today who give a young toddler a mobile phone to play with and fries for lunch, dinner and snacks. They also seem to either talk over them, shout at them or involve them in adult conversations. Like celebrity or gossip magazines, children want to know the sordid details. They want the latest designer fashions, they want more technology, they want fast food, they want beauty treatments like mum, they want to emulate mum, they want to be like dad, they want to follow dads football team.

Children want, want, want…

I recall a brief exchange with my then 10 year old niece and her 4 male siblings younger than her when they were at home on a lovey, hot sunny day. It went something like this:

“What can we do?” she said.
“I suggest you play outside”
“It’s boring outside!”
I flashed back to my childhood. “Go and play tig, hide and seek, hopscotch?”
“What are they?”
“Games” I said.
“Games? I’ve got the computer to play games!”
“Well, go and create a play or write a story”
“How do I do that?”
“Use your imagination!”
“Whats that!?” They all chorused and ran upstairs to play on the computer. “Are we having fries for dinner mum?” One of the lads called down.
“Yes” exasperated mum replied.
They all cheered.

But sometimes, as adults, we have to learn to say “Stop wanting because I can only give to you what you need. That way, you can appreciate what I have to offer more and you can learn more about life and materialistic things, the value of money etc in your own good time. But just for now, enjoy your childhood and all that it offers because at this rate, you’ll lose your childhood memories forever so learn just to be and be who you are!”

The Learned Kat